You just have to look for it. Sometimes you have to look really, really hard. This was the case for us in October.

It all started with a telephone call. Rainer, The Husband’s brother, was gravely ill. His cancer was back and he only had weeks to live. Needless to say, we quickly got The Husband on a plane to Tucson to see Rainer, one last time.

The Husband found Rainer in good physical shape with a wonderfully upbeat attitude. He came back full of stories about how Rainer and his extended family were taking this. But, this wasn’t the silver lining. We still had a storm to go through.

We made plans to go back together in early November. This time, the situation wasn’t as positive. Rainer was failing. During the course of our 4-day visit, Rainer went from being able to walk around literally eating everything in sight, to being bedridden and semi-comatose. The day after we left, Rainer found his peace.

You may ask, "Where is the silver lining?" It’s in the wonderful extended family into which Rainer had married. His wife, Patti, and children, Gabe, Rudy, and Lily, are supported by Patti’s loving and lively family.

The "family" consists of Patti’s 7 brothers and sisters, their associated spouses/ex-spouses/children, AND an incredible assortment of friends. But, it’s quite clear who guides this family. It’s Patti’s Mom, Vicha (or Nana to those close to her). Vicha is a 60-something dynamo.

Shortly after we arrived in Tucson, I found that Vicha and I spoke a common language - food. And, that was the key to entering Vicha’s world. You see, Vicha’s house is the focal point for this extended family, and Vicha’s kitchen is ground zero. It’s an amazing thing. Vicha’s kitchen never closes. Shoot, even Denny’s closes for Christmas, but Vicha’s kitchen starts early in the morning and feeds and feeds and feeds family and friends all day and well into the night.

Vicha cooks like me, only better. She surveys what’s on hand in the fridge and the pantry and then whips something wonderful up. Whether it is beef burritos, pan-fried catfish, or chicken over pasta, it’s guaranteed to fill you up and tickle your taste buds. Nothing goes to waste. The turkey carcass from Rainer’s early Thanksgiving turned into soup the next day. But, I have plenty to learn from her regarding the ability to adapt to her diners. In fact, there is always something for everyone in Vicha’s kitchen. A lot of Rainer’s friends are vegetarians, so there’s always a pot of beans on the stove for bean burritos topped off with fresh made green chili salsa.

Vicha honored me by allowing me to cook one night. I whipped up a big batch of spaghetti sauce. I got kind of a late start and it wasn’t ready by dinnertime. I just kept saying that spaghetti sauce is really better the next day and everyone took my word for it. But, Vicha saved my backside. If she hadn’t whipped up something to feed the masses that night, I may have been lynched!

Well, we may have lost Rainer from our world. But, we have our memories and we have his music. And, as he left, he gave us two more gifts - that death can have dignity and a wonderful new family to call our own. You may never be at Vicha’s kitchen, but you can bring Vicha into yours. Here are a couple of recipes to try. Remember, Vicha doesn’t use recipes or measuring cups, so recipes are "guestimates". Be creative!

Chicken a la Vicha
Serves 6.

3 whole boned and skinned chicken breast halves
2 whole limes -- juiced
3 tablespoons butter
1 whole red pepper -- coarsely chopped
2 whole tomatoes -- seeded and chopped
1 small yellow onion -- coarsely chopped
2 cloves garlic -- crushed
6 sprigs cilantro -- whole
1 cup broccoli flowerets
salt -- to taste
pepper -- to taste
spaghetti noodles-- cooked

Cut chicken into bite size pieces. Place chicken in a bowl and lightly salt and pepper. Add limejuice and allow to marinate for 15 minutes. Melt butter in a stew pot. Add chicken and lime juice. Sauté chicken over medium high heat until browned. Add red peppers, tomatoes, onion, garlic, and cilantro. Cover and cook for 20 minutes. Add broccoli flowerets and cook for 3 more minutes. Adjust salt and pepper to taste.

Serve over cooked spaghetti noodles. Be sure to serve with a nice bread or roll. The juice is incredible.

Remember: Vicha uses whatever is in her refrigerator. Nothing except the chicken, butter, and pasta are cast in stone. Use whatever vegetables you have on hand. Don't have spaghetti, but have rice. Don't panic! That's ok, too.

Pan Fried Catfish
Serves 6.

6 catfish fillets
flour
cornmeal
garlic salt
vegetable oil

The amount of flour, cornmeal, and garlic salt will depend upon how big your catfish fillets are and how you like your catfish. If you want a crunchy catfish, use more cornmeal. If you want a smooth texture, use more flour. You decide how much garlic salt you want, but use at least a teaspoon for each cup of flour and cornmeal used. Place flour, cornmeal, and garlic salt into a plastic bag. Add a couple of pieces of catfish at a time. Close top of bag and shake until fish is well coated with mixture.

In a deep large, heavy-bottomed skillet (ideally a cast iron skillet), pour in vegetable oil until you have about 1/2 inch in the bottom of the skillet. Heat over high heat. When oil is hot, add catfish fillets one at a time to skillet. Cover and fry until a golden brown (about 5 minutes depending upon size of fillets). Carefully turn fish over and brown the other side. Remove cooked fillets to paper towels to drain.

Vicha sometimes serves this with lemon wedges, raw sliced onions, or sautéed onions. It tastes a little different each way. Our favorite way to eat it is to make a sandwich with mayo and sliced onions.

Green Chile Salsa
Makes about 3 cups.

3 pounds green chiles 1 small yellow onion
2 medium tomatoes
6 sprigs cilantro
1 small lemon
salt -- to taste

Wash green chiles. Roast whole under broiler until skin blackens. Turn to roast all sides. Place roasted chiles in a ziplock bag. Refrigerate overnight. Carefully peel blackened skins from chiles and discard. Discard stems and most of the seeds. Coarsely chop peeled chiles. Finely dice onion. Quarter and seed tomatoes. Chop seeded tomatoes. Pull leaves from cilantro leaves and finely chop. Mix chopped chiles, onions, tomatoes, and cilantro. Squeeze the juice of the lemon over the mixture. Stir. Add salt to taste. If you want a spicier salsa, add a few red pepper flakes.