Ahh-Ahh-Ahh-Choo!

I don't know about your home, but our's was hard hit this winter by the "cooties" - AKA the dreaded winter cold. It all started a few days after we got back from Southern California for the annual New Year's fun trip. The Husband started with the sniffles and sneezes. This quickly progressed into the coughing and hacking. And, like most men, it finally developed into a full blown episode of the mopings and grumblings.

There are a lot of pitiful things in this world, but one of the most pitiful has to be a man with a cold. They feel bad, but don't want to admit it. They want attention, but don't want to admit it. They want you to fix them comfort food, but don't want to admit it. Instead, they get mad, punishing themselves (and just about everyone around them) for letting themselves catch this darn thing in the first place.

Well, this plague went on and on for over two weeks. Towards the end of January, there was finally a sneeze-free week. He was happy and I was ecstatic. Not only was he over it, but I didn't get it! Ah, it was blissful. But, it was also short lived. He started in again with the sniffles and sneezes, progressing to coughing and hacking, and culminating, once again, in the mopings and grumblings.

We had come to the conclusion that he was allergic to 1997 because he had spent the first two months either coming down with or recovering from a cold.

While I on the other hand, remained disease-free. How did I do this you might ask. In a way, I guess you could say that it was through good clean living. I followed all of the standard "don't catch the cold" rules. I washed my hands to the point where they began to resemble the "before" pictures on all those handcream ads. Then, I avoided touching my nose and eyes. Try telling that to my running nose and itchy eyes during the height of my allergy season. Last, but certainly not least, was my fervent belief in herbs. I stocked up on echinacea and golden seal. Sure, they laughed and called me "herb lady" at work. But, I, and I alone, did not come down with The Cold.

I was feeling pretty superior. While those around me turned my home and office into the acoustical equivalent of a TB ward, I was well, healthy, and robust. That is until I caught a cold from one of the Bimbos during Bimbo Weekend. Of the 12 Bimbos, at least half of them had colds - really bad colds - so bad that the pharmacist down the street from the hotel became a close, personal friend of ours. Sure, I washed my hands and took my herbs, but with all the laughing and drinking and eating and hot-tubbing and beach walking and sightseeing and whatever. I must have forgotten a wash here, an herb there, and probably rubbed an eye or two. The next thing I know, I have the sniffles and sneezes, progressing to the coughing and hacking, culminating into the mopings and grumblings.

So, as I sit here with a stuffy nose, a scratchy throat, and a sore back from coughing, I know that modern medicine can't cure what ails me. So, here are some of my home remedies and quick comfort foods you can taste:

"Feel Good" Juice
Makes 4 doses.

1 grapefruit
4 oranges
2 lemons
3 limes
honey
your favorite "medicinal spirits"

Juice the fruit. Heat one cup of juice until almost boiling. Stir in honey (1 teaspoon to 1 tablespoon depending upon how sweet you need it). Add a good "dose" (one ounce or more) of "medicinal spirits" (I like rum). Pour into a BIG mug. Carefully hold mug under nose and breathe in deeply through your nose. When it's cool enough to drink, carefully carry mug into your bedroom, slip into bed, and sip until you feel good enough to sleep.

Sore Throat Syrup

6 lemons
1/2 cup honey

Juice the lemons. Pour into a microwave-safe bowl. Add honey. Heat on medium heat for 1 minute. Remove from microwave and stir. Repeat until honey is complete dissolved. Store in the refrigerator. You can use this two ways:

1. Stir a tablespoon of the syrup into a cup of hot water and sip.
2. Just lick it off the spoon.

Spicy Macaroni and Cheese
Serves 2.

1 box macaroni and cheese
1 hot sausage
1/4 cup chopped onions
2 cloves garlic - crushed
1 teaspoon thyme

Prepare macaroni and cheese according to package instructions. Cut hot sausage into small pieces. Place sausage, onions, garlic, and thyme into a small frying pan. Sauté over medium heat until onions are translucent. Mix macaroni and cheese into sausage mixture.

Hot and Sour Chicken Noodle Soup
Serves 2.

1 packet chicken flavor ramen noodle soup
1/4 cup frozen peas - defrosted
1 green onion - julienne sliced
1 tablespoon vinegar
dash of Tabasco sauce

Prepare ramen noodle soup to package instructions. Add peas, vinegar, and Tabasco. Cover and let set for 5 minutes. Eat from a mug.